20 Ways To Break The Ice : Part One
It’s one of the biggest first-date fears: “What if we don’t have anything to talk about?” To help ease any awkward, grasshopper-chirping silences, try one of these conversation-starters, courtesy of an array of experts—including dating coaches, relationship experts, and lots of real-world, smooth-talking single people.
1. “I love your name; what’s the origin? Were you named after anyone in particular?” Just about everyone’s name has a back-story attached to it, says Mia Kirshenbaum, dating coach and author of The Weekend Marriage. You’ll probably get a fun, learn-about-your-date’s-family exchange out of this remark.
2. “Where did you go on your last trip?” Whether it was an exotic safari or just a weekend in Jersey, people love to talk about the places they’ve traveled, suggests Elizabeth Bates of Boston. Plus you’ll find out whether they’re more drawn to cities, beaches, or exotic locations—giving you still more conversational fodder.
3. “If you could do college over, what would you study?” Perhaps they would forget economics and take theater, for example. Definitely gets them talking and reveals their innermost wishes.
4. “What’s your favorite new restaurant?” You’ll have an instant window into your date’s likes and dislikes when it comes to cuisine. And if that topic doesn’t pan out, ask about their favorite dishes to cook at home, advises Stephanie Whitehead of New York.
5. “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done in the last month?” If someone can’t remember ever doing anything spontaneous, that tells you something, too.
6. “What trait do friends tease you about?” You’ll learn how your date’s friends see him or her, as well as find out how seriously your date takes himself or herself.
7. “What’s your take on ____ (current event)?” Skimming the Op-Ed section of the newspaper before your date keeps you up-to-date, suggests Steven Kim of Philadelphia. Not that you need to engage in serious CNN-style discussions; instead, keep it light and avoid controversial topics (sex, politics, religion), unless you really want to feel like you’re on Crossfire.
8. “How do you know ____(mutual friend)?” Obviously, this one will only work if you have a friend in common—but if you have that in your corner, work it, suggests Tim Sanders, relationship expert and author of The Likeability Factor. You’ll be able to blab about how you each met the pal, what you think of your buddy’s new job, and so on.
9. “What are you reading right now?” Even if it’s a magazine, everyone does a little browsing. Find out about what’s on their bedside table, says Alyssa Citarella, of Norwalk, CT, and you’ll learn something about their literary tastes and hobbies, which is a springboard to other conversations.
10. “Can you believe this ____(heat/cold spell?) It makes me want to move to ____. How about you?” The weather may be a predictable topic, but the way you pose the question doesn’t have to be so. Chances are your date will reveal whether or not he or she has considered relocating to another clime, offers Mia Kirshenbaum.
Want more? Click here for ice breakers 11-20. About the Author
Kari Molvar is a writer in New York City.
Article Source: MSN.com